


want to feel your sugar in my veins

by blackkat



Series: IruObi Drabbles [8]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Crushes, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Terrible friends, it can be both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 22:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20015920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: Obito gets one look at the firefighter taking off his coat and almost drops his end of the gurney on his foot.





	want to feel your sugar in my veins

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: What about a fireman/paramedic iruobi? Obito absolutely does not recognize Iruka from that charity calendar, Rin, no.

Obito gets one look at the firefighter taking off his coat and almost drops his end of the gurney on his foot.

There’s a very deliberate pause, judgmental in the extreme, and Obito winces. Raises his head warily to find Rin staring back at him, eyes narrowed, and hisses out a breath. “It’s _empty_ ,” he reminds her.

Rin looks from Obito to the empty stretcher and then, unfortunately, over at the firefighter. “Obito,” she says. “ _You_ don’t drop stretchers.”

Whoever her last partner was probably suffered a hell of a lot, given that tone. Obito tries to remember who it was, and thinks it was maybe Ebisu. Which, all right, probably not the best combination.

“I just thought I recognized him,” he defends, and lifts his end of the stretcher into the ambulance, slotting it along the wall as Rin folds it. “It’s nothing, can we leave?”

“Not until we get the all-clear,” Rin retorts, and takes another look at the firefighter, frowning. Before she can say anything else, though, there’s a rap of knuckles against the edge of the ambulance, and a familiar—unfortunately—figure leans in.

“Yo,” Kakashi says cheerfully, beaming at them both. “How are my favorite ambulance gremlins today?”

“Obito has a crush on that hot firefighter,” Rin says promptly, and jerks a thumb at him just so Kakashi knows _precisely_ who she means.

“ _Rin_!” Obito squawks, entirely betrayed.

Kakashi, being Kakashi, peers around Obito to check, then pauses. Blinks, once, long and slow, and asks, “Isn’t that Mr. February? From the Fire Department pinup calendar?”

Obito goes crimson, and the expression that spreads over Rin's face is _gleeful_.

“Bakashi!” Obito hisses, trying in vain to head off his oncoming death. “How do you even _know_ that?”

That innocent smile is _one thousand percent a lie_ , Obito would like it known. Especially when Kakashi turns it on him. “Research on the enemy,” Kakashi says blithely, beaming. “Our station is putting out a calendar, too, and I'm Mr. September. I had to know what the competition looked like.”

Rin laughs. “Mr. September, really?” she asks, and then pauses and slants a look at Obito. “Your birthday is in February, isn't it, Obito?”

Obito refuses to answer that, on the grounds that he will have no dignity left once he does. “What is a plainclothes detective doing at a fire, anyway?” he demands aggressively, shoving a finger at Kakashi’s chest. “If you're just loitering—”

“It was arson,” Rin says, before Kakashi can even open his mouth. “A serial arsonist. They’re responsible for the last two fires over by the docks.”

Kakashi’s betrayed expression echoes Obito's perfectly, because Rin is the _worst_. “ _Rin_. Why were you reading my files?”

“I would never,” Rin says, perfectly guileless. “I saw your texts when I stole your phone at the bar the other night.”

Kakashi and Obito exchange longsuffering looks, but Kakashi lets the matter drop. There's no winning with Rin. She’s entirely too clever for their own good. “Keep it to yourself,” Kakashi says, and then glances back at the firefighter. “So, Obito. When are you going to ask Mr. February over there for his number?”

“When you ask Genma for his,” Obito shoots back, because _that_ will very definitely never happen. And, predictably, Kakashi blanches faintly, looking ill just thinking about it. really, his emotional constipation is the only thing more reliable than the sunrise.

“It would be nice for you to finally get your head out of your ass,” Rin agrees cheerfully, and drops down to sit on the back of the ambulance, checking her watch. Ignores Kakashi’s spluttering, and says right over it, “Why am _I_ the only one here with a functional relationship?”

Obito rolls his eyes, even as he takes a seat beside her. “Because you found a cop who loves to get topped, and promptly conned him into marrying you,” he says dryly.

“How is Zabuza, by the way?” Kakashi leans on Obito's shoulder, all pointy elbows and sharp edges, but he doesn’t move when Obito bats at him, and Obito is too tired to try harder.

“We decided to go to Suna for our vacation,” Rin says, and bumps Obito's ankle with her toe. “But I'm more interested in the fact that Obito's been drooling over the Fire Department’s pinup calendar. Isn't Kisame in there, too?”

Under twin stares, Obito fidgets. Gives Rin a glare, not that it seems to do much, and then sighs, irritated. “Mr. January,” he mutters, resigned, and pulls a face when Rin laughs at him. “Oh, shut the hell up. If you hadn’t married a guy with a kid, you could be enjoying a copy, too.”

“I have Zabuza, and that’s more than enough muscle for me,” Rin says cheerfully, and then something wicked flashes over her face. Obito's blood promptly runs cold.

Before he can even open his mouth, though, Rin leans past him, waves, and calls, “Hey, Mr. February!” and Obito _chokes_.

“Rin,” he wheezes, trying to punch her in the arm, but Rin swats his hand away with a bright, innocent smile that she turns on the fireman who’s staring at her like a deer in the headlights, frozen halfway past their ambulance. There’s red creeping up his face, making his freckles stand out, and—

Obito is really, really stupid and can't tear his eyes away from them, even though Kakashi is staring at him delightedly. And _evilly_.

“Er, hi?” the firefighter says sheepishly, and offers a halfhearted wave.

Rin grins at him, hooking an arm through Obito's. “You’ve got a fan right here!” she says, and Obito lunges, clamping a hand over her mouth. She tumbles backwards with a laugh, and Obito curses at her, trying to wrestle her down. It’s hard, because she’s a wiry little thing, and also she _cheats_.

“Sorry about her!” he calls over his shoulder. “She’s—”

“Absolutely right,” Kakashi says, and dodges the desperate kick Obito throws at him. smirks, because he’s a _bastard_ , and now Rin is pinning Obito down as he squawks, not letting him launch himself at Kakashi. “Also, he wants your autograph. And also your number.”

“I'm going to _murder you_ ,” Obito snarls.

With a sound like a tea kettle, the firefighter buries his face in his hands. “Oh god,” he says, mortified.

Obito has known Rin and Kakashi since he was four, so he’s used to the fact that they're the most embarrassing people on the planet. He’s not about to inflict them on innocent bystanders, though, and with an effort he struggles free of Rin's grip, shoves Kakashi into her, and ducks out of reach.

“Doing one last check, back later, fucking _die_ ,” he tells them, grabs the firefighter’s arm, and hauls him out of the line of fire, past another ambulance where Kotetsu and Izumo are finishing up with the arson investigator. Mei casts them a sharp glance as they pass, then glances back at what they're fleeing and snorts. When Obito shoots her a desperate glance, she waves in agreement, and sits up to intercept Kakashi before he can follow.

Safe, Obito thinks, and lets out a breath of relief, steering Mr. February around the edge of a fire engine and out of sight of his terrible friends.

“I'm _so sorry_ about them,” he says, turning to face him and stepping back. “I swear, it wasn’t harassment, they were just trying to give me a hard time.”

Mr. February is still bright red, but he smiles a little, ducking his head and running a hand over the back of his neck. “That’s okay,” he says, because obviously he’s the nicest person alive. “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to do the calendar. Uh. I'm Iruka?”

“Obito,” he says, relieved not to have to think of him as _Mr. February_ anymore. Though it’s slightly awkward to have a name to put to the guy who has definitely absolutely not been starring in his fantasies recently. “I'm just. Really sorry about them. Can I murder them for you? Torture? Ongoing harassment until they die?”

Iruka laughs, startled, and—the photo in the calendar is honestly pretty tasteful, with everything covered and a big red paper heart keeping things decent, but. What always gets Obito is the _smile_ Iruka is wearing, mischievous and a little teasing and _delighted_ about it, like he’s about to let Obito in on a secret, and. It’s _nothing_ compared to this, bright and warm and happy. Obito is never going to recover.

“I was going to ask if you were okay with me signing them up for a lot of porn magazine subscriptions,” he says, smiling _right at Obito_ , as if anything about his face is fair. “But if you want to take over, that’s fine too.”

“Kakashi would enjoy porn too much,” Obito mutters, and tries to get his flush under control. “Maybe Psychology Today, or something.”

Iruka tugs on the tip of his ponytail, not quite looking at Obito. “We could meet for coffee and come up with a better idea?” he offers, and then quickly raises his hands. “Only if you want to!”

Obito stares at him, caught entirely off guard. That’s. That’s not how this is supposed to go. That’s not how this _usually_ goes. Usually Obito is getting punched right now, or yelled at. The offer of a date is…outside of his realm of experience, to say the least.

“Sure,” he says, and his voice cracks. Mortified, he ducks his head into his scarf, and tries to at least _pretend_ that he is a functional adult who can interact with the rest of the population. “I'm—I'm off tomorrow and the next day? or Friday and Saturday next week.”

“Tomorrow,” Iruka says with something like relief. “Ten o’clock, at the coffee shop by the station? The one with the snowmen in the window?”

“It’s a date,” Obito agrees, and his heart is hummingbird-quick in his chest, his blood bright and hot like he’s been filled up with light. “I— _deal_ , I mean, it’s a deal—”

“It’s a date,” Iruka echoes determinedly, and his smile is shy but eager. Obito smiles back, helpless to do anything else.

He’s still going to murder his friends, though.


End file.
